What the F**K?

(Reader Age Rating - 18. This post consists excessive use of the word "F**K" though it is only for educational purposes. If you still feel that this post is obscene wait till the Anonymous sends you a comment about p**is enlargment with using "en" instead of a decent guy like me who used "**")

I de-boarded from my cab at office and was buying some smokes to kick off my another interesting day at office. There was this girl standing right next to me who also had bought a cigarette and was trying to light it up. Since this is not a club house that we are talking about there is no kick-a$$ lighter here, only a bowl full of match-sticks and few match covers that the pan-waala has arranged . During the process of lighting up her cigarette, the match stick broke and she exclaimed "F**K!!". Me born with the rightest of the timings said "Allow me!! ". She gave me a weird look so I quickly added "To light up your smoke". I did(light up) and we smiled, went on our own ways thinking.

At least that what's I was doing. I re-played the dialog in my mind and thought it could have gone seriously wrong and I should stop myself from blurting out responses like "ALLOW ME". The girl could have had taken it literally or not waited up on me to add "to light up your cigarette". Or worse still she could have asked me "What the F**K you mean?? ", which could have sounded like "What?? THE f**k you mean" to me. I could have ended up facing a dangerous option of obliging her or guarding my virginity(blush blush). And then I thought most of the times even I exclaim like that. What if I is to exclaim "F**K" and there is some gay dude with the right timing like me, saying "Allow me!!!". Then I will have to guard my virginity, though of a different kind all together!! (Up until a few years ago I believed Virgin is name of a airline and when asked "Are you virgin?" I used to reply "No!! I am Air India" ).


Anyways, while smoking I gave a little more thought to this incident(the fact that my shift was starting an hour later also allowed this luxury). I thought Maaan!! We have started using this word every where. For describing situations, our feelings, while expressing wonder or disgust and I realized that this word is now everywhere. In every conversation. (Though considering India's population I can surely say its NOT ONLY THE WORD that is everywhere).

Anyways with the same thoughts I came up to office. I was greeted by a team member who said "Did you watched Sachin's performance. Man!! it was f**king good!! ". I flinched at the word and refrained myself from requesting him not to use the F-word for a while. It has already been on my mind since morning. I mean the thought of why we have started using this word so much was on my mind. After the important discussions about Sachin, his double century, process targets and the call flow subsided, I decided to pursue my morning thoughts a little bit further.

So I decided to do some re-search about the origins of the F-word and why it has become the most popular word around the globe.(Though KRK is more popular than the F-word).

Definition : Below is the definition of this word

"F**k is an English word that is generally considered profane, that in its most literal meaning refers to the act of sexual intercourse. However, by extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed, and it is due to the convergence of these two weighty concepts (sex and destruction) that the term can carry such overloaded emphasis,[citation needed] although it is frequently used as a mere intensifier"


Usage : Do you know that this word can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun, or interjection. It can also be used as any word in a sentence or as a complete logical sentence. Consider the example given below :

"F**k the f**king f**kers".

F**king amazing, isn't??.


Also it is one of the very few words in English language that can be used in the middle of absolutely any word. E.g :

AbsoF**inglutley.

To highlight its verb like qualities you might want to know that while saying "I got f**ked by my company" means I got cheated by my company or if you would like to consider its noun characteristics calling somebody "A f**cker" describe a sorry person who is not worth giving any respect.

More so while used in phrases like "I really don't give a f**k" would simply mean that you don't care at all rather than any implications on your character or your potency issues. Just like when disappointed by the quality of food served in our cafeteria we say with a sigh "This is so f**cked up" means that you are disgusted by it. The food I mean.

So much for its usage.

Origins : I then went on to read about the origins of this word. Here is an interesting story that I picked up from wikipedia

"During the Black Death in the Middle Ages, towns were trying to control populations and their interactions. Since uncontaminated resources were scarce, many towns required permission to have children. Hence, the legend goes, that couples that were having children were required to first obtain royal permission (usually from a local magistrate or lord) and then place a sign somewhere visible from the road in their home that said "Fornicating Under Consent of King", which was later shortened to "F**K".

I was amazed by this story about the origins of the F-word and to find a different F-word as well. FORNICATION!!. Think how would it have sounded if in the morning that girl had exclaimed "Fornication!! " after dropping the match stick. I even considered saying "What the Fornication you doing?? " to my room-mate next time he tries to cook something in the kitchen or "This is really fornicated up" next time my team leader rejects my leave request.


Another interesting thing that I found out was that in machine translation there is a character in simplified Chinese. The character look like square box which in Chinese means "dry". Since I was unable to get that character(its a English keyboard) i decided to represent it by this sign : "#" . Now the interesting thing is that when you use a machine translator for Chinese to English, it types "#" as the word "F**K" !!. For example if you have to write "Dry food price counter" in Chinese you will use "#" to say dry. But if you translate it to English it will come up as "F**K food price counter"!!

Suddenly I have made a major diplomatic discovery and can better explain the strained relations between US and China. Probably the Chinese prime-minister wanted to say that "I do love America and it is a great country but your president behave a little dry"

So this is how this idea came up after a single exclamation used by a total stranger and needless to say it fornicated my whole day writing this post!!!