BLINKING CURSOR.......UNBLINKING ME!!!

This happened again. And happened again for a millionth time. I wanted to write about so many things but ended up looking at the blinking cursor for hours. Looking at it and thinking. Thinking about many things that are shapeless in my mind, dying to find a physical form. Waiting for me to shape them up with words, attach them in sensible sentences and build up paragraphs which are funny(hmm...) or sensitive(haa!!) or knowledgeable(LOL... ). But I ended up looking at the blinking cursor and in that moment I asked,

"Do I look as stupid to this cursor as much as this cursor looks stupid to me?".

And amazingly the blinking cursor replied, "Yes, you dumb A@#H@#E, you look as stupid as me!!! ".

I was shocked and a wave of anger swept over me. I stared at it and with all the hate that I can possibly adjust in one sentence I said, "What the F###....how dare you call me a dumb A$$***E. No body(except the people who know me) calls me thaaaat. You stupid sonuvabitch. All you do is blink on a blank sheet".

"That is what you are as well...a blank sheet...and you don't even blink!!! ", the cursor said.

We stared each other and then suddenly started laughin. I laughed so hard that my roomie woke up and started laughing as well{yes people the great SURJ###(remember some of the letters in his name got eaten up in the previous blog) do not need a reason to laugh}. After Surj### went back to sleep and I could catchup with my breath I said,
"You know what, you are right!! I am a blank sheet and I don't even blink".

Then I said, "Tell me something dude, you have blinked in front of so many people, great writers, I mean, people who play with words like guitarists play with strings, or real powerful people, politicians, movie stars and then also in front of many tom, dick and harrys like me who happens to own a computer. What is the difference for you between blinking in front of people like them and other commoners like me? ".

The Cursor smiled and went into a thinking reverie. After thinking for some time he said, "Well to tell you the truth there is not much of a difference between you and people you are talking about. I mean if you look from my prespective all I ever see is a bozo sitting in front of the screen with two hands just like yours, typing in. To me every keystroke that anybody gives in is in 0's and 1's....not different from your keystrokes. To me its all the same giberish and it doesn't matter who types it".

I was not going to let him off that easily. I could not believe what he was telling me so to further pursue the question I said, " C'mmon man, this can't be true. I mean how can you say there is not much of a difference. So what you mean to say is, that if it was not me but Chetan Bhagat writing all this, it would still be the same thing..huh?? ".

The Cursor said, "Naah, I DID NOT say that. You asked me what is the difference for ME and I told you that. You didn't say what's THE difference....see? ".

Me said, "Alright alright, wise a$$, SO??...so what's the difference?? ".

He said, "Before I answer that I need to ask you something...should I? ".

Although I smelled a trap but I still went ahead and said, "Yeah, why not".

He asked me, "Why do you keep staring at me with your hands ready on the keyboard. I keep on blinking at people like you and keep on blinking just to make you realize that I am here. All you have to do is start writing. But still people like you keep on staring and don't type. Why is that?? ".

Well, I said, "I can speak for my self because I know this is what happens with me. I come and start you because there is this urge to attach words to so many thoughts running wild in my mind but all that I get at the end of it is you...a blinking cursor!!. I don't know how many times I have picked up a pen and paper to write something...you know..catch one thought and actually write something about it...and you know...with every passing minute all that's there is a plain paper staring back at me. In conversations with people, so many people that I know....everybody has a story to tell...the only thing that's hard to find is WORDS. They too end up looking at the blinking cursor. Time and again we go back to diaries, scraps, texts, mails, blogs, phones....all our own...all started in an attempt to say things felt inside, all created because of this need to give form to million formless tit bits running in our minds...to communicate.....in the end getting us stuck....at YOU...a blinking cursor!!!
I have imagined every person, you know, in a I-want-to-write-something-moment moment where we are in front of a screen....both hands ready on the keyboard....a blank space in front of us...a space to write....staring back at us....and we staring at you....repeating the same question in our mind over and over again..."Kahan se likhun?"...."Kya Likhun?". And if by any chance we do start writing about some stuff then we go back...read what we have written.....and think..."Yeeeh kya likha hai....hata yaar!!". We delete it and happily return to where we started our literal journey from...you guessed it!!!....YOU!!!....THE BLINKING CURSOR!!!. So I am not sure. And that's why I am asking you. What's the difference? ".

Now the cursor smiled . "I'll again tell you that there is not much of a difference. The only thing that separates them and you is that they actually go ahead and write whatever they want to and never look for sense. They let go of any need to be appreciated by people who are going to read them and simply type whatever. And somehow it all makes sense in the end. And when I see people reading what they have written it is not like everybody likes it. I have seen people making fun of writers, politicians, movie stars for what they write. So here is the advice that you were looking for. If you want that people should swoon and croone at your words then don't do it. Don't write. And ya don't just keep on staring at me like you know what you are doing but just waiting for some divine intervention....got that?? ", he said.

"Well, it was nice talking to you Mr. Cursor. I will try not to stare at you and write instead. Hope to talk to you later ", I said.

The cursor was smiling at me and I smiled back..........