Saturday, January 30, 2010

The POET IN ME!!!!

Aaj socha ki ek blog shayri ke naam kar dun...Actually when I was a kid(mutlub bilkul chota nahi...in the age jub bachon ko nayi nayi hawa lagti hai...you know...jub ek dum apne dad ki saari posessions main se unka shaving razor hi dikhayi deta hai aur mann karta hai ki nayi nayi moustaches ko jadd se unkad fainke. Yah fir ghar se nikalne aur school tak pohnchne ke beech main ladkiyan apni skirt ko teen fold deti hain...utna KID) I started reading shayari(you know to impress girls). Aur fir bada mann karta tha ki khud se kuch aisa likh dalun ki jo sune bus deewana ho jaye mera. But again it was not meant to be. Woh hota kuch aisa hai ki pehli line to humesha achi ban jaati hai...par dusri line main mere andhar ka devil jaag jaata hai. Khair anyways koshish karne main kya jaata hai.......kyun??

toh suniye.....

"main aksar raaton ko uth uth kar yeh sochta hun......

main......

maaaaaaain......

main aksar raaton ko uth uth kar yeh sochta hun...
Ki kahin stove "ON" to nahi reh gaya!!!

(bhai safety is always first..shayari tabhi karenge jub jinda rahenge)

ek aur mula-e-jaa farmayie......

"Jee chahta hai saari duniya ko tumahre raang main raang dun,
par kya karun mera water colors ka dabba kho gaya hai
"


aur ab ek dard bhara sher.......

"Hazaron khawaishen hain aisi! ki har khawaish pe dum nikle!!
pilata tumeh daroo ki botal! par ATM se paise Kum nikle!!"

(bhai month end par jub bhi maine yeh sher kisi ko sunaya hai...aansoon nikle hain logon ke...AANSOON)

kisi ki yaad ke liye....arz kiya hai....

"Yeh nazrein bheed main bhi tujhe hi dundati hain,
Yeh nazrein bandh ho kar bhi tujhe hi dekhti hain,
Yeh saansein har aah ke saath tujh se puchti hain,
mere paanch hazaar kab vapis karega bhai"

(depth of emoshion dekhiye aap!!)

Aur ab un logon ke liye jo raaste main bewafayi kar dete hain....

"ek aise mod par lakar, mujh se bewafaayi ki tumne, ek aise mod par....
main ganton khada sochta raha, abhi kal hi to service karvayi thi tumne"

(That's why you suld chuse your car mechanic bhery bhisely)

I am sure that you are quite thrilled by the literal journey that I have put you through. Par aap sub ghum na karein. Is mehfil mein main jald hi fir hajir hounga kuch naye sher le kar....aur jaate jaate ek aur aapki nazar karna chahunga....

"Naa chaho kisi ko itna, ki chahat tumari majburi ban jayee,
Bus itna bhuno aatte ko, halwa bane na bane par churri ban jaye"




(Copyright : These poems are an original work of a great artist in the making and it is requested from you not to copy it anywhere or mail it. But being true indians if you insist on doing exactly what you are told not to do then go ahead.)

BABA ALCOHOL NAATH MEDITATION WAALE!!!

During a telephonic conversation with somebody few days ago, I got engaged in an argument about which one is better. Alcohol or meditation?? Now you must be thinking that even this comparison sounds absurd. Well.....it does and I agree, but just to spice up the argument I went ahead and said both are same and after a few pointers I went even a step further calling alcoholism better than meditation.


Let me first tell you how it started(The argument I mean). I was feeling particularly lost on that day(though I feel constantly lost at all times but that day I was PARTICULARLY lost). Desperate times calls for desperate measures, so this person I was talking to, thought of advising me about ways that I can use to get out of my dilemma(question : If you are not decided between two things it is called Dilemma but what is it called when you are not decided between multiple things?? NOTE : Please no wisecrack comments as answers. I am looking for a dictionary word!!). Ya...so coming back to THE advice, the same word again...MEDITATION. I mean c'mmon(that's what I said on the phone). I think ALCOHOLISM gives you same results as meditation(and that too much faster). Don't believe me??. Then read on.....


Well the whole purpose of meditation is to ultimately bring inner peace to your mind..right??. And people who practice meditation will agree to this. At first when you start meditation, though you try to slow down your internal dialogue you seem to wander off. Sometimes disturbed by external noises, unpleasant thoughts, inner fears etc etc. That's why mind-doctors(don't think I don't know the spellings for a psychiatrist, its just that MIND-DOCTORS sound a little cool) suggest the candle technique. You have to light up a candle, keep it at eye level and try to concentrate looking at the flame. After a month of practice you will able to slow down your mind and body. Now ask anybody who drinks. This is what happens after three 30 ml pegs. Your nervous system starts feeling little affects of alcohol. Your eyes gets fixed to some object or someone(probably a face that either you love too much or hate too much). Though you ARE aware of everything that's happening around you but you start rejecting everything being said by others as rubbish. And you don't have to practice for a month. Just drown three pegs.



Moving on to the second stage of meditation. After you have mastered the technique of concentration the next step is to close your eyes and shut off the external influences. You have to think about the flame, forget whats happening around you, and start looking inside. Talk to your own self. Well the drinkers would agree again. Down 6 pegs and you are no longer part of the conversation with people. With your eyes closed, not caring what other people are up to, you start listening to you're own self!!!

The third stage of meditation is where you shut off completely. Not bothered by anybody, nor even your own self, you are just looking at the flame centered in the middle of you forehead. There is no dialogue going on - in or out. All you can think of is the flame. This is what happens after you exceed your limit of alcohol. You no longer concern yourself with anybody. All you can think of is - "Bhagwaan bus aaj bacha le. Aaj ke baad kabhie nahi piyunga!!". Only one thought occupies your whole mind!!!



The ultimate stage of meditation is a state of NIRVANA. Well I think you have better chances to get "Mukti" if you drink a lot...don't you?? So you see my friends(fellow bewda community ke proud memberon) don't feel ashamed if somebody tells you about the harmful affects of alcohol. Thy answer(proudly) should be

"Rokte to ho mujhko peene se, dikhakar rub ki bandagi ka raasta
Kambakht tumne kabhi pee hi nahi, peete to humein apna khuda maante"
(bhaiyio original hai...adaab!!!)