BABA ALCOHOL NAATH MEDITATION WAALE!!!

During a telephonic conversation with somebody few days ago, I got engaged in an argument about which one is better. Alcohol or meditation?? Now you must be thinking that even this comparison sounds absurd. Well.....it does and I agree, but just to spice up the argument I went ahead and said both are same and after a few pointers I went even a step further calling alcoholism better than meditation.

Let me first tell you how it started(The argument I mean). I was feeling particularly lost on that day(though I feel constantly lost at all times but that day I was PARTICULARLY lost). Desperate times calls for desperate measures, so this person I was talking to, thought of advising me about ways that I can use to get out of my dilemma(question : If you are not decided between two things it is called Dilemma but what is it called when you are not decided between multiple things?? NOTE : Please no wisecrack comments as answers. I am looking for a dictionary word!!). Ya...so coming back to THE advice, the same word again...MEDITATION. I mean c'mmon(that's what I said on the phone). I think ALCOHOLISM gives you same results as meditation(and that too much faster). Don't believe me??. Then read on.....

Well the whole purpose of meditation is to ultimately bring inner peace to your mind..right??. And people who practice meditation will agree to this. At first when you start meditation, though you try to slow down your internal dialogue you seem to wander off. Sometimes disturbed by external noises, unpleasant thoughts, inner fears etc etc. That's why mind-doctors(don't think I don't know the spellings for a psychiatrist, its just that MIND-DOCTORS sound a little cool) suggest the candle technique. You have to light up a candle, keep it at eye level and try to concentrate looking at the flame. After a month of practice you will able to slow down your mind and body. Now ask anybody who drinks. This is what happens after three 30 ml pegs. Your nervous system starts feeling little affects of alcohol. Your eyes gets fixed to some object or someone(probably a face that either you love too much or hate too much). Though you ARE aware of everything that's happening around you but you start rejecting everything being said by others as rubbish. And you don't have to practice for a month. Just drown three pegs.



Moving on to the second stage of meditation. After you have mastered the technique of concentration the next step is to close your eyes and shut off the external influences. You have to think about the flame, forget whats happening around you, and start looking inside. Talk to your own self. Well the drinkers would agree again. Down 6 pegs and you are no longer part of the conversation with people. With your eyes closed, not caring what other people are up to, you start listening to you're own self!!!

The third stage of meditation is where you shut off completely. Not bothered by anybody, nor even your own self, you are just looking at the flame centered in the middle of you forehead. There is no dialogue going on - in or out. All you can think of is the flame. This is what happens after you exceed your limit of alcohol. You no longer concern yourself with anybody. All you can think of is - "Bhagwaan bus aaj bacha le. Aaj ke baad kabhie nahi piyunga!!". Only one thought occupies your whole mind!!!



The ultimate stage of meditation is a state of NIRVANA. Well I think you have better chances to get "Mukti" if you drink a lot...don't you?? So you see my friends(fellow bewda community ke proud memberon) don't feel ashamed if somebody tells you about the harmful affects of alcohol. Thy answer(proudly) should be

"Rokte to ho mujhko peene se, dikhakar rub ki bandagi ka raasta
Kambakht tumne kabhi pee hi nahi, peete to humein apna khuda maante" (bhaiyio original hai...adaab!!!)